


Behind Closed Doors

by trixie_b



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:55:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27099979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trixie_b/pseuds/trixie_b
Summary: So, in chapter 71 of Dawn of Aquarius by nastally the following happened:The door opened and Roger flashed a brilliant smile, holding up the bag in his hand.“Hey! Got some bevvies.”Brian chuckled and stepped aside. “Good man. Come on in.”“So what’s the mysterious occasion?” Roger enquired, toeing off his shoes and raising a hand to greet Brian’s flatmate, who was just on his way through from the kitchen. “Hi Trev!”“Hey.” Trevor gave him a nod in passing and disappeared in his room as if they hadn’t been sharing the flat for a good month until just two weeks ago.“God, why’s he always such a pill?” Roger whispered, pulling a face.Brian shrugged. “Some people like their space, Roger. Don’t make it a problem.”Roger raised a placating hand. “Yeah, alright, forget I said anything.”And I thought, 'There's a story there.'
Relationships: Brian May & Freddie Mercury, Brian May & Roger Taylor, Freddie Mercury/Roger Taylor
Comments: 24
Kudos: 15





	Behind Closed Doors

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nastally](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nastally/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Dawn of Aquarius](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18372263) by [nastally](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nastally/pseuds/nastally). 



> This story is based on chapter 71 of Dawn of Aquarius by nastally, the four chapter froger epic that keeps on giving.  
> I didn't know it was her birthday when I wrote it, so consider that serendipitous.

**Behind closed doors**

Trevor leans his back against the door as he closes it behind him and groans: Why is he always such a fucking idiot? Why can’t he even manage to say ‘Hello’ to Roger without embarrassing himself? Pushing himself away from the door he throws himself face down on his bed and sighs. He’s always been shy, but in front of Roger he’s basically mute. In his mind he runs over the script he had mentally prepared when Brian had told him about his plans for the evening. It was meant to go something like this:

Roger arrives. Brian greets him. Trevor (hanging around the kitchen trying to appear interested in rearranging the cutlery to make sure that he doesn’t miss Roger’s arrival) nonchalantly glides through the room and offers a casual ‘Oh, hi Roger. Nice to see you. What have you been up to since you left us?’ Roger replies: ‘Oh, nothing much. It’s been a bit lonely without Brian … and you.’ (Trevor imagines Roger dropping his eyes and blushing at that admission.) Trevor smiles winningly. Brian says: ‘Yeah, Trev, why don’t you join us tonight?’ He demurs, but then Roger adds ‘That’d be great, Trev. Please?’ And then Trevor smiles and nods, and Roger and he settle down together on the sofa and Rog is captivated by Trevor’s wit and how good he smells and Brian and the others seem to disappear and it’s just the two of them and … and…

And, what, Trevor, what? Confronted by the reality of Roger all he can manage is a ‘Hey’ as he stumbles to his room. Trevor screams (quietly) into his pillow, cursing himself for the great fool he is. He rolls over onto his back and stares at the flaking paint on the ceiling. He’s always been tongue-tied around Roger; he’s always been tongue-tied around any of the boys or men he’s had crushes on. ‘If you don’t talk to them, you can’t accidentally give yourself away’ he has reasoned, but as he’d got more acquainted with Roger, he’d loosened up a little. Sure, his desire for Roger was palpable; he’d been surprised that Roger hadn’t felt the force of the pheromones pouring out of him, but familiarity had made him braver and, Trevor had to admit, Roger’s heterosexuality was so pronounced and so frequently in evidence, that it made him safe to have a crush on. There was no chance that Roger would ever deviate from having sex with as many women as possible, and so Trev was happy to spend his time bathing in Roger’s charisma, exchanging a few words and fantasizing about him as much as possible. But then … then…

He hadn’t known whether to be thrilled or horrified when Brian had asked if it was okay for Roger to live with them for a while, camping out on the sofa. Apparently, he and Freddie had offended their landlady with too much noise or something and they had to vacate the premises pretty swiftly. Freddie was heading to Liverpool to try his luck with a band there (Trevor was well aware that Freddie was desperate to be a part of Smile, not talking a lot gave him ample time to observe others) and Roger needed a place while he looked for somewhere more permanent. The thought of having Roger around the flat everyday was overwhelming (he’d needed a hot bath to recover), but the thought of missing this opportunity was even worse and so he’d said ‘Of course’ and then excused himself to put the bath on.

And it had been fine, great even. Roger was his wonderful self, if a little unusually subdued, and Trev had got lot of time with him, which didn’t help the crush, but Trevor reasoned that beggars couldn’t be choosers. On time he’d come home, apparently unexpectedly, to find Roger wandering around in his underwear, happy as could be. Roger had grinned and offered Trevor a cup of tea, which he then made and shared without putting on any other clothes: Trevor had needed a long bath as well as a lie down after that. Roger also had a habit of forgetting to take his clothes with him when he washed and so Trevor was occasionally blessed with the sight of a wet Roger, towel ineffectually wrapped around his hips, making the dash between the bathroom and the loungeroom where he kept his clothes. A bath was no use on those occasions and Trevor had spent quite a lot of alone time replaying those images.

But then … well, Trevor wasn’t an idiot and he soon realised that Roger and Freddie had fallen out with each other. (Trevor mutters ‘Freddie’ under his breath as he thinks about it.) It hadn’t been polite to ask and so he had pretended not to have noticed, while trying to glean what information he could. Perhaps Brian and Roger hadn’t realised he was studying in his room or perhaps the walls and doors were much less soundproof that they thought, but, one Wednesday afternoon ,Trevor got the shock of his life when he heard the door open and close and then Roger say the words ‘love’ and ‘Freddie’ in the loungeroom. What was Roger saying? And so, with much shame and guilt, he had put his book down and tiptoed to the door to listen.

‘Christ, Bri, I just can’t stop loving him just like that. I’m not a machine.’ Roger was sounding quite impassioned.

‘I know, Rog, I know. And I’m sure he doesn’t expect you to.’ Brian replied.

‘Ha! Doesn’t he? Apparently, he can just walk away from everything without so much as a look back.’

‘I’m sure that’s not true, Rog. I think Freddie feels things very deeply. I doubt it was that easy for him.’

‘Was it any better for me? Having to keep everything a secret? You know, I bet that suited him; sometimes I think he had one foot out the door the whole time. Getting him to admit we were in a relationship was not easy, let me tell you.’ Roger’s voice was getting quite loud.

‘Well, relationships are never easy.’ He could tell that Brian was trying very hard to be considered and supportive.

‘Well, certainly not for him, apparently, but does anyone care if it was easy for me?’ Trevor was starting to think Roger might have been drinking. ‘Hmm, is anyone thinking about what it took for me to have a relationship with him, hey? Not exactly my usual choice in romance.’

Trevor gasped. What was he hearing?

‘Well, no-one else knows about it Roger so, no, they aren’t thinking that. It must have been very confusing …’

‘I mean,’ Roger was on a roll now, ‘had I ever kissed a man before? Nooooo. Had I ever had a man give me a blowjob before. Nooooooo, I had not. Had I ever fuck …’ Brian’s voice cut across Roger’s rant.

‘For godsake Roger, stop. I do not need to know the details.’

‘Huh?’ Roger stopped abruptly. ‘Sorry, sorry. I know.’ A sigh and then, ‘But I love him Brian, I love him so much. And what does he do at the first sign of trouble? He gives up. He just throws up his hands and walks away.’

‘It was quite serious trouble, Roger. It was the police. I looked it up and you could have gone to jail, even today.’

‘Oh, you don’t need to tell me. The police sergeant told me all about it. Tried really hard to get me to throw Freddie under the bus and say that he’d been buggering me senseless, so they could lock him up. Assumed it was like that ‘cos I’m younger than Freddie. Ha! I could have told him a thing or two …’

‘Rog, stop. You’re doing it again.’

A muttered ‘Sorry.’

‘Anyway, did you tell Freddie this? It would have terrified him.’

‘What? No. Of course not. I didn’t want to worry him even more. He was worried enough about the assault charge …’

Assault charge? Trevor couldn’t believe what he as hearing.

‘… but it didn’t matter, did it? Because that was it. That was the end of it for him. Just screwed up and thrown out like the, the, the rubbish.’ Was Roger crying now?

‘Oh god, Rog. No. I sat with him through that whole night and he was so scared and worried about you. He was absolutely devastated. All he wanted was to see that you were safe. All he cared about was you.’

Roger replied though his tears. ‘Maybe. Maybe. But that didn’t stop him leaving me, did it?’ Trevor could hear sobs now.

‘Okay, I don’t think this is helping you at all. You go and have a shower and then I’ll make us a cup of tea and we can, I don’t know, talk about what a crap record company Mercury is. Okay?’

A few sniffles and then ‘Okay.’

And silence.

Trevor couldn’t believe what he had just heard. Had he understood it correctly? The words didn’t seem to fit together, surely they couldn’t mean what they seemed to. Roger and Freddie? Freddie and Roger? In love? Lovers? Impossible! Well, not the Freddie part, he had to admit. Yes, he’d occasionally seen Freddie with women at parties he’d occasionally attended, but Trevor had never been convinced by any of that, but Roger? No. Not possible. And yet, here were Roger and Brian talking about Roger being in love with Freddie, with them being lovers and then breaking up. And what assault charges? Had someone hurt Roger? Freddie? Had they hurt someone? And why were the police asking who was buggering whom? Brian didn’t sound surprised by any of it; he’d clearly known all about it, but to Trevor, it was as though he had stepped off the earth and landed on a new planet; one in which Roger Taylor had sex with men. And that little piece of information had changed everything. Suddenly, Trevor’s fantasies had a whiff of reality about them and that was far too scary to contemplate. So, for the rest of Roger’s stay, Trevor had done his bet to avoid Roger and when he couldn’t he’d been too awkward to say much at all and had retreated to his room at first Roger-sight. When Roger had moved out, Trevor had breathed a sigh of saddened relief.

Now, as he lies on his bed, berating himself for his idiocy, Roger is back again, just outside the door and Trevor has no idea how to handle it. Should he hide in here? Should he join them? Brian has told him that Freddie (‘Freddie’ he mutters balefully) will be coming around and that Tim will also be joining them and Trevor is more than welcome. If he does join them, then maybe he can find out what the hell is going on between the object of his desire and his (newly annointed) mortal enemy? Does Tim know anything about this? Trevor thinks not, remembering that Roger had mentioned keeping everything a secret. He knows all about that, it’s not like he goes around telling everyone that he likes men, after all. He has given a lot of thought to all the possible nuances of Roger’s love (and sex) life. It had very much sounded as though Freddie (grrrr) was Roger’s first … whatever he was … but that didn’t mean he has to be Roger’s last. Trevor’s thought about it in the bedroom, in the bathroom and even in the kitchen and loungeroom when Brian has been out. Hell, he’s thoroughly depleted himself thinking about it so often. And now, Roger’s here, but so are the others and it’s just all too much …

‘Stop it!’ He clasps his hands over his mouth, praying that no-one has heard him. He can’t hear footsteps coming to his door, so he thinks he’s got away with it. Well, he can’t just lie here all night. He looks around his room for distraction, knowing that there will be no study tonight, and his eye lands on his desk chair. Before he can change his mind, he leaps up, grabs it and places it up against the door, sits down and makes himself comfortable. He’s not doing anything wrong, after all he has been invited. He’s just joining them from a distance and, if the need arises in the overheard conversation, he can always rush to Roger’s aid if Freddie (that bastard) is mean to him. He is content.

And that lasts about 2 minutes before the screaming starts.


End file.
